If Weird Al Was A Triathlete

If you have been following along the literary roller coaster that is my blog, you undoubtedly have surmised that my flavor of humor is “unique.” I like to think of my antics as packets of side splitting goodness mixed with youthful awesome. Like broccoli smothered in chocolate.

The disaster that is my sense of humor was not the work of one too many intracranial crayons or a combination of Pop Rocks and soda. Rather, my jokes and puns are the result of one of the most powerful mentors of my, as well as many others, youth: TV. I am scientific proof that repeated viewings of MTV, Airplane, and Mystery Science Theater can have permanent ramifications on the mind (even worse than watching Roseanne Barr sing the National Anthem).

As I was watching Airplane yet again today, I began to reminisce about another of my childhood laughter dads, Weird Al. Being a kid with a sister who was a college DJ and thus being forced to watch the first video ever on MTV, Weird Al and his parodies were a win win. For my younger readers, MTV used to show music videos before they started showing hour long shows of metaphorical bowel movements. I don’t care if your a straight laced, always brush your teeth three times a day, type of square; you cant deny the humor of:


So, this got me day dreaming on the treadmill today: What kind of songs would Weird Al make if he was an gun ho triathlete? I cant believe I was able to come up with ten. If you don’t know what these names are parodies of…you need to get this thing called iTunes…..

10. Pretty Fly For A Tri Guy

9. Baby Got Back Seat Hydration

8. No ID No Tri

7. U Cant Draft This

6. Bike Thong Song

5. Endurance Nation

4. Discs in the Wind

3. American Tri

2. Bankbreak Host Hotel

1. La Macca Winna

Yes, I have too much time on my hands.

About Ironvan

From couch potato to Ironman triathlete in 2 years.

Posted on October 24, 2010, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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